Saturday's Sting in the Tail

Paraprosdokians - Winston Churchill loved them, they are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy the second in our series.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

(Our thanks to Nub News reader Geraint Pugh for this idea, and contribution)

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Today's Felixstowe sunrise: 06:27

Today's Felixstowe sunset: 17:44

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Felixstowe tide times:

04:22 3.68m

10:22 0.7m

17:00 3.35m

22:41 0.91m

Floodgates

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Weather:

Isolated fog clearing to leave a largely dry and sunny start, but cold. Patchy cloud will increase through the day allowing the odd light shower to develop. Maximum Temperature 7Cc, low of 2c.

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Orwell Bridge:

Open

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Joke of the day:

Why was the tomato blushing?

He saw the salad dressing.

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International Space Station

Saturday Mar 06: 4:44 AM, Visible: four min, Max Height: 72°, Appears: 54° above WSW, Disappears: 10° above ESE

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This weeks' surgeries and dispensary times:

Grove Medical centre 08.00-18.30 (283197) - Covid vaccinations available by appointment only

Haven Health 08.00-18.30 (670107)

Howard House 09.00-17.00 (282706)

Felixstowe Community Hospital (458820)

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Bus services:

Check here for 77 service Monday to Friday timetableLive travel updates: 

Check here for 75 service[Lhttp://felixstowe-bus-train-times.co.uk/Felixstowe-to-Ipswich-Bus-Timetable.html[L+] Monday to Friday timetable[.L]

Live travel updates: 

Train times and traffic hold ups

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Today's Post Office Openings:

Bent Hill, Wolsey Garden – 10.30 – 12.30

Felixstowe, Hamilton Road - 09.00 – 15.00

Old Felixstowe, High Road, East – 09.00-17.30

Walton High Street – 08.15 – 17.30

Trimley High Road – 06.00 – 22.00

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Today's supermarket shop openings:

Co-op Hamilton Road – 08.00-20.00

Co-op Wadgate Road – 06.00-23.00

Co-op High Road West - 07.00-23.00

Co-op King Street – 06.00-23.00

Co-op Walton High Street 06.00-23.00

Morrison's – 07.00 – 21.00 (petrol 08.00-22.00)

Tesco metro – 07.00-22.00

Sainsbury's Warren Heath – 08.00-22.00

Lidl Langer Road: 08.00 – 21.00

Lidl Haven exchange: 08.00-21.00

Wear face covering. Respect social distancing rules and treat shop staff with respect.

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Our daily Breakfast Briefing is proving very popular but we are always striving to improve the experience for you. If you have any suggestions for inclusion please email [email protected]